Sleepytime Regrets Ch. 2

Another regret!

Sleepytime Regrets Chapter 2:  I Can See For Miles and Miles

There's a bagel shop in my town called "Bodo's Bagels." 

Some local business owner somehow stumbled upon the recipe for the perfect bagel.  My guess is that he sold his firstborn or let Satan give him a wet willie or something.  It was totally worth it, though, because those bagels are delicious.

Some years ago, when I was toiling through middle school, it was a family custom to go to Bodo's after church.  It was everyone else's family custom to do this, too.

So, one Sunday, we rumbled our car into a makeshift parking space off in the grass near the completely full Bodo's lot.

Bodo's was always busy, but on Sunday it looked like Wall Street after a nearby cocaine store had a fire sale.

People were yelling out orders; customers were banging and bumping into each other.  Bodo's was a hivemind, with 200 different people with 200 different tasks, but somehow all achieving their goals and reaching their destinations.

My parents gripped my hands tightly, as to not lose me in this violent bustle of activity.  The hand holding was a little embarrassing, but I didn't want to get swept away, either. 

The line crept slowly forward as other customers permeated through it.  They were all hurrying to do various other things like collect napkins or go regurgitate so they would be hungry for more Bodo's.

Eventually it was our turn to place our orders.  My parents stood trying to decide what they wanted.  They probably could have multitasked during the 15 minutes of line-standing, but who am I to judge.

I stepped forward to place my order.  I already knew what I wanted since I always got the same thing every time.  I was going to get a plain bagel with butter.  Sure it might be boring, but it was yummy.

I stood in front of the cash register.  I wanted to order fast so I looked cool.  This was a fast-paced place and I wanted to show this girl that I was a cool, fast-paced dude.  I looked up at the girl who was to take my order.  She was looking off to the side, across the room.

I thought that maybe she hadn't seen me.  I stood on my tiptoes and wiggled my head a little bit to try to get her attention.

She still looked off to the side.

Was there a fight or something?  What was so engrossing? 

I followed her gaze and turned to the corner of the room to try to see what she was looking at. 

Nothing particularly interesting was going on back there.  I was confused.

I turned back to the lady.

Her right eye was still looking over my shoulder, but her left eye was looking directly at me. 

Oh, no...no, no, no.  She didn't...

Yes she did.  She had a lazy eye.  And not only did the poor girl have a lazy eye, but now she thought that I was being an asshole about it.

Before, I had only looked at her lazy eye and now I found myself smack-dab in the center of a painfully awkward situation.

She turned bright red.

I turned bright red.

Shit.

"Plain bagel with butter, please."  I muttered.

She punched at the keyboard and my parents walked up behind me to place their orders.

My parents took their sweet time ordering.  They might have ordered really fast, but it sure felt like an eternity.  I stared at the ground. 

My face burned so hot I thought it was going melt and drip onto my shoes.

I eventually got my bagel, and it was delicious, but I'm not convinced it was worth the sleepless nights.

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Sure, it might not be the worst thing in the world, but God, I still feel awful about this one.  If you're out there Bodo's girl, I'm sorry I was a turd about your googly eye.