THE UNDERACHIEVING SOOTHSAYER
INT. DARK ROOM - NIGHT
STEVE is dressed in a dirty poncho and has a wrap messily
placed on his head. He hasn't shaved in a few days and is a
little tipsy. JENNY sits across a table from him. She is
wearing tennis whites and speaks with a slight southern
drawl. There is a crystal ball in the center of the table.
STEVE
So what brings you here?
Steve takes a swig from a dark bottle.
JENNY
Well, I'm not sure what I should do
with my future. I can't really
seem to make up my mind.
STEVE
So you came to me. You want me to
tell you what to do.
JENNY
That'd be great.
STEVE
Sure.
Steve takes another swig and puts the bottle on the floor
beside his chair.
STEVE (CONT'D)
Well, lets get this started I
guess.
Steve puts his hands on the crystal ball and closes his eyes.
STEVE (CONT'D)
Okay. I'm looking into your
future. I see...darkness...
blackness.
JENNY
That's probably because your eyes
are closed.
Steve opens his eyes and blinks.
STEVE
Oh, yep...lenscap.
(rubs eyes)
That's better. You know, I do
that about once a day.
JENNY
It's okay. What do you see now?
STEVE
Oh, you're still into this-
(gets partially back into
character)
Okay, uhhh. I see a man.
JENNY
Is that my father? Does he have
white hair?
STEVE
Sure.
JENNY
Then that's him! What's he doing?
STEVE
He's...walking?
JENNY
That sounds just like him! How are
you doing this?
STEVE
Many years of training.
Steve takes a swig.
JENNY
Does my father know what I should
do?
STEVE
Lets ask.
Steve waves his hands around in the air.
STEVE (CONT'D)
Will the spirit of...what's his
name?
JENNY
James.
STEVE
Right I knew that. Will the spirit
of James please tell us what his
daughter should do with her future?
As he finishes the question, be brings his hands down and
yawns. There's a beat.
JENNY
Well what'd he say?
STEVE
Uhh, he said follow your dreams.
JENNY
He thinks I should become a
neurosurgeon?
STEVE
(chuckles)
No-o-o. That can't be right.
Don't you have any other, perhaps
less ambitious, dreams?
JENNY
Well, my second plan was to marry
rich.
STEVE
That sounds closer.
JENNY
Okay, well does my dad know how I
should do that?
STEVE
Okay, here's a risky one. I'm
seeing that you went to college.
JENNY
I did!
STEVE
Whew.
(beat)
And you dropped out.
JENNY
I did.
STEVE
That one was easier. Okay, well
you could try going back. Meet
someone to marry.
JENNY
Well, that is why I went the first
time.
STEVE
See? There you go. You've got a
plan. Don't you feel better.
JENNY
I do! I'm gonna go find a man to
marry. That's what I'll do. My
future seems so bright now!
STEVE
Yeah. Glad I could help. Wait,
one more thing. I'm seeing an
animal.
JENNY
Is it Sprinkles? She was such a
good dog.
STEVE
A dog. Yup it's definitely a dog.
The dog says hi.
JENNY
Tell Sprinkles I said hey! Tell
her Momma's got a new lease of
life!
STEVE
I sure will. That'll be sixty
dollars.
JENNY
Thank you!
Jenny roots around in her purse and pulls out some cash.
JENNY (CONT'D)
You can't put a price on a good
future.
Jenny smiles at Steve.
STEVE
Sixty dollars sounds good though.
JENNY
Okay, take care! I'm gonna go
follow my dreams!
STEVE
Me too.
Steve takes a long swig from the brown bottle as Jenny leaves
the small tent.
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